I googled the history of child sexual abuse once and was surprised by a research article I found. I’ve read the document a couple of times, and I’ve come to a conclusion. This may be a hard statement to absorb, but the fact is we’ve always been a society which abuses our children. The nature of it has always been among us. In fact, the level of abuse is more prevalent and accepted the further you go back in history.
According to the Lloyd deMause, author of “The History of Child Abuse”, the practice of using our children as an object of our desires was as much present in tribal communities as it was in royal families, and in both undeveloped and developed societies.
Lloyd deMause uses the term “poison container.” Children become “receptacles into which adults project disowned parts of their psyches, so they can control these feelings in another body without danger to themselves.”1 This definition sounds academic but gives the insight we need. In my own words, I believe people don’t look at children as innocent, but as little humans built for a personal emotional outlet.
This is so opposite of what should happen. Parents should absorb the pain of their children. Children aren’t equipped or built to absorb the pain of adults. I sometimes think we view children as expendable.
Our history of rituals and practices promoting the abuse of children as normal behavior created a generational curse of human proportion. A curse which plagues us as we continue to practice and perpetuate it today.
We, because of our own selfish desires, created this attitude towards children, but I believe God breaks that attitude if we allow him to do so in us.
We can be the cycle breakers.
How do you break the cycle?
- Change your spirit toward children.
- I believe when we change our spirit, we change our thinking. When we change our thinking, we change our emotions. When we have a different emotion about a child, our senses become heightened towards protecting, guiding, and helping them. Most children are born as empty plates. We can decide to fill them with healthy food to nourish them or garbage to destroy them.
- Get help
- I’ve said it many times and will continue to say it: if you have an ongoing problem regarding children, e.g., you find yourself always wanting to hurt them, then you need to get as far away from them as possible and get help. The help you need should be a professional help and can come from a therapist or counselor. And my preference is a biblical counselor or therapist.
- Pray for the Lord to break the cycle in you and in your family.
- I’m a strong advocate of communication with the Lord in prayer. Pray that the cycle does not show up in your children. Pray for it to be broken in you and in our world. Keep praying about this issue.
The first step in breaking the cycle is changing your spirit. How do we change our spirit? Well, that’s the story of Hamartia. I’ll talk more about that on Saturday.
Until then, can you help break the cycle?
- deMause, Lloyd. The History of Child Abuse. The Journal of Psychohistory. Winter 1998 23 (3). Available from: http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-history-of-child-abuse/