Often a new you requires looking over the old you. The new you should not be the old you dressed up. In 2016 one way to get a new you is to see if you need inner healing. Inner healing is an important part of remaking oneself, but we often overlook it.
We think if change our physical appearance, or change our career, or change our goals and even change our relationships, then we can make a new us. But if internally we’re still struggling with some internal demons, then let’s be honest. All we did was put paint on dirty walls.
Clarity of Self
In our last article we asked an important question, “Am I broken?” Some of us can clearly answer this question. But for others the answer is hidden behind one major step in the healing process. I’ll call this step “clarity of self”.
Clarity of self is about the willingness to clearly see myself and my need for healing. Clarity of self is about self-awareness. And the first step in healing is to recognize and acknowledge the need for healing in our lives.
I’ve said it before…the most important person in your healing process is you. Many may come alongside to support you, but if you don’t make a decision to do it, then it won’t happen.
What the heck was I thinking?
I can’t pinpoint the day or time when I found out I needed to change, but I can pinpoint what I was doing. At 18 and a college freshman, I embraced a bold statement of independence. I didn’t care about myself any more. I was giving all of me to anyone who wanted it. As, I look back like on that time with more mature eyes, I ask what the heck was I thinking.
I was hungry for acceptance and hungry to belong. Some people saw this and treated me like I was unworthy. I remember sitting at a table with a group of peers and as everyone prepared to leave, an upper classmen, who I obviously liked, appealed for someone to stay and continue playing cards with him. I gladly volunteered. Who wouldn’t? He was older. He was cute. He was well known. All this would make my life better somehow. Again what was I thinking?
I was sitting at the table like an excited puppy. All that was missing was a wagging tail and dangling tongue. At that moment another young lady, his girlfriend, sat on his lap and the two of them carried on a conversation about me as if I wasn’t there.
I clearly remember him referring to my staying as if it were an inconvenience and she responded that she couldn’t do anything if I wanted to stay. I sounded pitiful and desperate in their conversation. They both saw in me a neediness I hadn’t seen in myself.
I need help
But this wasn’t the day where I recognized I needed help. The day didn’t come until a couple of years later. In the meantime, I sort of ignored my own behavior. When I finally looked in the mirror of my soul, honesty came over me like a wave. The girl I peered at had a lot of baggage from her childhood experience. She was needy. She was afraid. She lacked confidence. And she was in self-destruct mode. In that moment, I cried out to God and asked for help.
I appeal to you now. Before you begin a self-destruct mode or before you continue one, consider this moment as a time to build a new you in the new year. Begin with your healing.