First Love Lost: Ask and answer the question of how did you get here.
First Love Series - Part 3
I’m not alone. We’ve all done it. Left one place and ended up in another with no recollection of how you got to the destination. You barely recall street signs or lights. You don’t remember passing familiar landmarks. Dazed and confused you ask, “How did I get here?”
The same question may be plaguing you after reading my articles “Do you recall your first love?” and “How to know if you’ve lost your first love”.
If you left those two articles feeling like your love relationship with God was off, i.e., not what it should be, then I did my job. When you acknowledge and identify God is not first in your love line, then you are ready to discover when and why he lost this position.
I remember when God was not a first love for me
When my cousin died of cancer, I experienced a time when God was not my first love. I was angry at him. I had prayed and believed. I had read Mark 2 in the Bible. I saw how 4 men tore open someone’s roof to get their friend in front of Jesus to be healed. When Jesus saw their faith, he healed the man. I tried to be like those men. I had faith when my cousin’s faith wavered. And then she died. I thought God had ignored me. I felt disappointed.
That was my when and why. When I recognized it was affecting how I felt about him I had to be honest with him. I had to talk to him about what I was feeling and why I felt that way.
What is your when and why?
What is your moment? Did you feel as if God disappointed you by not answering a prayer? Did anxiety and worry brought on by a life event consume you? Did fear drive you away? Were you influenced by what you saw other people doing or not doing? Did the busyness of life distract you? There are many possibilities but your when and why is specific to you.
Identify your when and why because it will help you deal with future situations, which may affect God’s first love starting position in your life.
1) Think about your when and why. 2) Write it down. 3)Then talk to God about it.
Honestly, he knows when and why he lost the first love position. He needs you to know so the two of you can get back on track.
You may not ready to let it go of your when and why
I understand. Before you move God back to first love position, you may want an explanation. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can share an observation.
When God was not first love in my life, life was harder. I struggled with direction. I was sad. I was empty. I was lost. Work was disconnected, My marriage was disconnected. Even my church life was disconnected. I operated as if nothing was amiss, but everything was in disarray.
How I worked to return God to first love position
It might help you help to hear how I allowed God back into first love position after my cousin’s death. It was not easy. It did not happen in 3 easy steps. It took some time. I had to force myself to read the Bible. I had to read prayers written by other folks because I couldn’t come up with my own.
As I immersed myself, my heart began to soften. I realized in this lifetime I would not know why he hadn’t answered my prayer. I recognized this was for my good. His ultimate plan was being realized in ways I would never understand until it’s my time to leave this place. I had to accept not having an answer did not affect who God was - he’s same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The way I loved him before her death, is the way I have to love him throughout the remainder of my life.
M prayer for you today is this:
Dearest One. Lover of My Soul. I know you see us. Please help us. When we cannot do it on our own, help us to love you as f you’re in first position until you are in that position. In Jesus Name.
STOP! Take a moment join us.
Sometimes being a Christian is challenging. Often we aren’t honest about our struggle.
Do you want growth, insight and courage to help through this journey?