Introducing the Companion Workbook to Released: In Search of a King
Introducing the companion workbook for Released: In Search of a King!
Several of you have asked and it’s almost here. Released: In Search of a King has a companion workbook to help you and others work through healing. To celebrate its upcoming release, enjoy a free chapter from the workbook below. To be notified when the workbook is ready and be among the first to get a discount on Released + its companion workbook, go here: http://eepurl.com/gZFC6v.
Enjoy Chapter 8: Derailment from the companion workbook of Released: In Search of a King by Andrea Gadson.
We Begin With Prayer…
Jehovah-Rohi, God My Shepherd. I can see clearly how what happened to me as a child derailed me. Even in my current state I know I can be more. Sometimes it’s hard for me to accept that when you look at me you see more. You see my potential. You see what you created me to accomplish. I’m tired of allowing the bad to win. I’m tired of heading in the direction opposite of what you want for me. Lead me back to the path you created for me and in me before I was even a thought in my mother’s womb. Lead me back. Amen.
The Big 3 for Personal / Group Reflection
Q: Do you believe all people have purpose? Why or why not?
Q: Was Mimi living out her purpose? Why or why not?
Q: Do you know your own purpose? Why and why not?
The Book Connection
Was Mimi derailed? In other words, was she off track from what God created her to be and to do in her lifetime? I’m not sure how you answered this question, but my answer is I don’t know.
At this point, she’s young. She has so much life ahead of her. What I do know is that she was not created to be a sperm deposit bank for men. At this point in the book, Mimi is in college and decides a new environment means a new Mimi. When the new Mimi fails, she begins a reckless pursuit she was not created to follow.
Chapter Connection
I believe everyone is born with an assignment. Assignments vary by person and are unique to the person. When life-interrupting experiences break us, the resulting brokenness bumps us off our assigned path. I call these assignments our proper place. This is where we are supposed to be. But when we act out of brokenness and walk on broken paths, we reside in broken places.
We need to move from the broken place to the proper place, which is the place of our life’s assignment.
One person’s assignment may be raising children who go into the world and make it a better place. Their children bless others and raise children of their own to do the same. Another person’s assignment may be becoming the speaker and representative of a movement which changes unfair treatment of others just because of the color of their skin. The assignment is always unique to the person.
The greatest injustice a person can do to themselves is to seek another person’s assignment. The greatest gift a person can give to the world is to pursue their own assignment.
Once you realize you are off track, the next logical question is how to get back on track. How do you return to the path which leads you to your assignment?
The Spiritual Connection
When I think about being derailed after childhood trauma, two stories come to mind. Each of the children in this story were abused. One returned to his proper place. The other became a tool for an ongoing battle which continues even now.
Ishmael
Ishmael was the half brother of Isaac. The same Isaac who was the father to Jacob, who would become the forefather of the Jewish people. Ishmael was the son of Hagar, who was a servant to Rebekah, Isaac’s wife. Isaac and Rebekah’s plotting and scheming produced a child who would later be rejected by the people. The same people who forced his mother to have him. It may sound harsh, but during biblical times, it was common practice to give your servant to your husband to have a child. In doing so, the child was viewed as the mistress’ child. This practice was especially used when the mistress was infertile.
Turns out Rebecca wasn’t infertile after all. When she had her own child, she hated the child she was supposed to view as her own. I often wondered what it must have felt like to Ishmael. Years before the birth of Isaac, he was the only child Rebekah knew. She most likely spoiled him. But when Isaac was born, Rebekah seems to demand he be elevated over the child she once loved. She insists on Isaac being recognized as the primary child of the home while Ishmael is relegated back to a servant’s son.
Her distaste grew to a point where she demanded both mother and child to leave the home. She turned them out and made them homeless. Imagine eleven-year-old Ishmael, quickly getting dressed, watching his mother stuff their belongings in a bag, and being told he would not return. The boy probably pinched himself more than once to make sure he was not dreaming.
God helped Ishmael and his mother Hagar during their period of homelessness but his path from this point is wild. Ishmael would become the forefather of the Islamic people; the very nations the Jewish people fight with to this day.
Was this his purpose? Only God knows. If it was not his purpose, then he is clearly an example of child abuse derailment. He was never able to get back on track.
Joseph
Like Ishmael, Joseph also went through a traumatic childhood experience. At 17, he was human trafficked for labor.
Joseph enjoyed a pampered lifestyle growing up. Not in the sense you may envision when you think of being pampered, but his family did well. And as the 11th son of 12 children, he had a special place in his father’s heart. Unfortunately, the place he held in his siblings’ hearts was not so special.
Joseph was a vision caster. His vision casting revealed great and wonderful events on his path. His proper place was to be a leader, to whom even his own brothers would serve. If you’re in your 40’s and 50’s and your little brother tells you one day you will work for him, your first response may include a bit of pride. You’d most likely wonder who this child thinks he is. You wiped his butt and now he’s telling you he will one day write your paycheck. You can imagine how ridiculous this seemed to Joseph’s brothers.
We all know pride can grow into jealousy, which can produce hate. If left unmanaged, can make a person do something truly stupid. For the brothers, hate drove them to sell Joseph to a human trafficker. What was Joseph’s proper place? Being the leader of a nation. What was he doing instead? Scrubbing pee and poop from the metaphorical toilet .
Despite his abuse, Joseph took on an ethic that would make him invaluable to everyone he served. His years in slavery would not deter him from his purpose. He continued to walk a path towards his purpose. As a result, he would become the ruler who saved many lives including those brothers who hated him.
Two stories. Two different approaches to being derailed from purpose. What was the difference?
We do not know much about Ishmael’s teen years. The Bible reports he lived in the wilderness and was wild. His life began in Jacob’s house where he was fully introduced to Yahweh, the God of his father. But in the wilderness, he may have lost that exposure. He may have rejected it. He may have had a hard time believing in the god of a man who threw his own kid out of his home. That likely seemed like a heartless god. Ishmael was no longer plugged in to Yahweh.
Joseph also was in a completely different world from the one he grew up in. He did not have daily exposure to Yahweh through family observations and celebrations. However, he had a relationship with God. He knew enough about Him to know how he lived, even as a slave, should be focused on Yahweh.
Relationship with God is how Joseph got back on track to the road of his assignment. It is the road which would lead him to his proper place in life.
The You Connection
How did you answer the question at the beginning of the chapter? Do you know your own purpose? Are you on a path at this very second which leads toward your purpose?
Discovery and confirmation can only come through prayer and relationship with the Father through his Son, Jesus.
To get there, or at least headed in the right direction, focus on the following:
Assess your relationship with God. Are you in a relationship with Him and are you communicating with him through prayer? If not, then get there. Clarity will only come if you spend time with him and get to know him through the Word of God.
Your assessment may reveal you need to work on your relationship. Get to it then. This may include increasing your prayer time, your Bible reading, and your living righteously for him. Your healing and your return to the proper place requires an improved relationship with God, Your Shepherd. As you work on this relationship, God will begin to show you something about your proper place. Do not try to move ahead of him by crafting your own desire or will on what you want your purpose to be. Take your cue from him.
Writing Your Letter
It is time to add to your letter. Honestly, your abuser may not be aware of the derailment damage they did to you. And to be blunt, they may not care. You are writing this for yourself to let go and get back to the path. Add three sentences to your letter. These should be about being derailed from your proper place. Just three. Any more will be dwelling on something which will keep you stuck. You’ve already written much about your story. Derailment is another outcome of your abuse.
I haven’t forgotten about those of you who believe you are on purpose. It is wonderful if you truly are walking a life in alignment with your purpose. However, if your path requires you to hurt, manipulate, mislead, or harm another in any way, then you are not walking in the purpose God created for you. Trust me. Abusing others is an outcome of being abused yourself. Remember hurt folks hurt folks? But hurting people mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically, psychologically and any other way, is not your purpose.
To be notified when the workbook is ready and be among the first to get a discount on Released + its companion workbook, sign up here: http://eepurl.com/gZFC6v. While you wait, enjoy an excerpt from Released: In Search of a King.
