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WWJD versus WDJD
Years ago, society faddishly latched on to the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?" Also known as WWJD. But now, should we ask "What Did Jesus Do?"
Why Did God Allow This to Happen to Me?
Why did God allow this to happen to me?
The question important to most adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, Christian or otherwise. It may be asked following the abuse or it may take years to surface.
The question makes us uncomfortable because it feels like we are challenging God. Emotional feelings toward God including anger, disappointment, or perhaps doubt. The hardest part isn’t the question itself, but the answer because it will never be specific enough.
The Self Blame Game
Survivors of childhood trauma, particularly sexual abuse, are made to feel like they did something wrong. Unfortunately, we embrace this thought with a vise-like grip, refusing to let go.
Personally, I went through my own mind battles of what I could have done to prevent my abuse.
Should I have stayed home? Should I have said no? Should I have told my grandma who was just one wall away from where my abuse was occurring?
I was a child. There was nothing I could have done, and, still, as an adult I look back on the time as if I had options I had not exercised.
I, like many other abuse survivors, played the game of self blame.
The Holy Spirit's Role in Trauma and Healing
I'm suffering from pandemic brain.
Are you wondering what that is? Pandemic brain describes the change in our cognitive function due to the prolonged stress and anxiety of the pandemic. When the brain spends an extended amount of time under stress, it adjusts to protect itself.
This got me thinking about the trauma of childhood sexual abuse survivors, like myself, and the different levels of healing. Survivors are managing the impact of their childhood experience in addition to the fear, anxiety, isolation, depression, and brain fog of a pandemic. It seems like too much. I had to stop and remind myself of the tools I had as a Christian.
Love Like Jesus
Learning how to represent Jesus and love others is difficult when someone’s grievance with you is based on your ethnicity. They hate you not because they know you but because of your skin color.
Build on your desire to love like Jesus despite this foolishness by working on your foundations. Join me in my next workshop series, Foundations for Love. Learn more and register in this post.
Christian Friends Become Enemies
Loving someone you have tension with can be extremely hard to do, particularly if you feel justified and offended. While I do not know the answer to your specific situation, I encourage you to put your situation to serious prayer. Ask God to show you your shortcomings and ask him to guide any reconciliation.
Good News in the Fight Against Child Sexual Abuse
Children are society's most valuable resources and protecting them should be high on the list of our top priorities. This means bringing awareness to the issues and showing support where and how we are able to. I know child sexual abuse is a heavy topic and every time you learn more about it, you may feel better informed, but somewhat helpless. In today's post, I thought you might want to hear some good news and see how progress is being made around the world. Be encouraged. If all you can do now is pray, then those prayers help make progress.
It Can Happen to Anyone – Protecting Your Child
With April marking the observance of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I was invited by Tonya May Avent to share a post on her blog. Read an excerpt below or head to Tonya’s blog to read the full post.
4 Keys to Sharing Your Story of Sexual Abuse
The decision to share your story of sexual abuse for the first time begins with just that – a decision. And who makes the decision? You. You decide.
Telling your story for the first time is a brave and courageous act. If you decide to share, use these four key questions as part of your sharing process, and remember – sharing your story is the first step in the healing process.
Introducing the Companion Workbook to Released: In Search of a King
Introducing the companion workbook for Released: In Search of a King!
Several of you have asked and it’s almost here. Released: In Search of a King has a companion workbook to help you and others work through healing. To celebrate its upcoming release, enjoy a free chapter from the workbook below. To be notified when the workbook is ready and be among the first to get a discount on Released + its companion workbook, go here: http://eepurl.com/gZFC6v.
Enjoy Chapter 8: Derailment from the companion workbook.
An Excerpt from Released: In Search of a King
On the blog today, I'm offering you a free chapter from my book, Released: In Search of a King. After reading the sneak peek, you might be asking some questions that can only be answered by reading the entire novel.
As we recognize this month as SAAM and Child Abuse Prevention, think about buying a copy for a friend as a resource for their healing journey.
Am I Broken? 3 Questions to Identify the Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse
If someone is ready to share their story of childhood sexual abuse with others, it can be the key to initiating healing.
One of the first steps is to answer the question, “am I broken?” In other words, did the sexual abuse have an impact on my life to the point where I’m not completely whole?
We explore that topic in this post.
Kickstart Your Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse
“Broken” is one way to summarizes all of the impacts that can result from childhood sexual abuse. Broken isn’t a pretty word, nor does it paint a pretty picture, but it’s a true, simple descriptor for what happens when a child is abused.
The truth is my childhood sexual abuse broke me. The breaking was easy, but the healing is hard. Is it time to take the hard step and kickstart your healing? Are you ready to learn more so you can support either yourself or someone you know as they begin their healing from childhood sexual abuse?
Why Did God Allow This to Happen To Me?
Why did God allow this to happen to me?
Before healing can truly begin, this question has to be addressed. Failing to do so leads to a healing journey littered by this lingering thought.
In this article, you won’t find a specific answer to your question. I cannot explain why some children are molested and others are not, but I can give you some thoughts to consider. As you begin your healing journey, I pray these will be a starting point for you.
Shake the Stigma; Stop the Shame
Stigma and shame are two reasons we don’t often hear a lot of talk about child sexual abuse. But it’s time to shake the stigma and stop the shame.
How do we get started? It starts small. Learn how you can be part of the solution.
MeToo is Not Over and Childhood Sexual Abuse is Not Dead
As the #MeToo movement gained traction, the public began to confront and talk about sexual harassment and violation in ways it never had before. It also opened the door for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to tell their stories. Then COVID came. Racial unrest broke out. Political gang wars grew. And MeToo seemed to be silenced by the next BIG story.
But it’s important we keep these conversations going.
The Beauty of the Faith
Research groups like Pew and Barna show Christianity is declining among younger generations. Have you ever worried that Christianity is declining? I’ll admit that I have. But when I do, I remember the beauty of the faith.
If you have faced similar concern, I hope this article encourages you.
Connecting the Dots
If you follow me, you may have wondered what I have been doing. Perhaps you thought I'd lost my mind. Nope. I've been heading somewhere. And that somewhere is here in the form of my new course Foundations 4 Love: Living Christian in a Chaotic World.
Introducing SurrenderedSolutions
Today, I’m thrilled to announce the relaunch of my business framework: SurrenderedSolutions. SurrenderedSolutions tells so much about what I believe God has gifted me to give to the world.
SurrenderedPen isn’t going anywhere, we are simply growing and expanding. Together, we can help the world find Christ. Together, we can continue down a path toward gaining insight, fostering growth, and building courage for Christian living.
The Legacy of Hamartia - Part Three
We are created in God’s image. We possess his rational, moral, social, artistic, and spiritual characteristics. We reflect God in our design. We have so much potential in us. Yet, some of us love more of what is not in him than we do what is in him.
Is it a matter of wanting something you cannot have? Or is it something else? I think it is something else, which we know as sin. As we start working through relational healing in 2021, we must realize relational healing requires an understanding of sin and how it works.
This 3-part allegorical story provides the insight we need to understand how sin was born.
Why did God allow this to happen to me?
The question important to most adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, Christian or otherwise. It may be asked following the abuse or it may take years to surface.
The question makes us uncomfortable because it feels like we are challenging God. Emotional feelings toward God including anger, disappointment, or perhaps doubt. The hardest part isn’t the question itself, but the answer because it will never be specific enough.