Why Did God Allow This to Happen To Me?
Before healing can take place, you need to decide if this question is important to you:
Why did God allow this to happen to me?
Before healing can truly begin, this question has to be addressed. Failing to do so leads to a healing journey littered by this lingering thought.
In this article, you won’t find a specific answer to your question. I cannot explain why some children are molested and others are not, but I can give you some thoughts to consider. As you begin your healing journey, I pray these will be a starting point for you.
Living in a Sin-Filled World
We know God is the Creator of all things. Revelations 4:11 tells us everything was created by Him and everything exists because of Him. But verses like 2 Corinthians 4:4 and 1 John 5:19 tell us that Satan has a level of control over this world.
How is this possible? While these verses seem to be in conflict, they are not. God is and will always be the Creator. During Creation, He gave humanity a level of authority in the world (see Genesis 1:26). With that authority, Adam and Eve named and talked to animals. They probably crafted agriculture and horticulture masterpieces as garden custodians. Then BAM! It was all over in the amount of time it takes to bite a piece of fruit.
When humans chose to disobey God, humanity gave its authority to Satan. Satan then went, as the slang phrase says, buck wild. Our relationship with God was shattered.
We live in a sin-filled, Satan-guided world, which our human ancestors caused. It is a world where people desire to abuse children physically, sexually, mentally, verbally, and spiritually.
In a sin-filled world, how does the Infinite God operate?
From the minute the Garden Tragedy occurred, God set a plan in motion to restore and rescue His creation. As a Christ follower, I believe Jesus is the plan. According to John 3:16 and John 10:10, through Jesus, God promises a life beyond this sin-filled one and an abundant life within it.
Most people think abundant means they will have the better of everything--i.e., the better home, the better job, the better family, the better life, and on and on. But that is not what scripture means by the abundant life. The abundant life we are offered through Jesus means you will be able to live through this life even when your circumstances are not perfect because God is with you.
Through tools like prayer, Bible study, and community with Christian brothers and sisters, you rebuild the relationship that was destroyed in the Garden. Within the relationship, God is active in your life through the Holy Spirit.
Your relationship with Him is specific to you. How He shows up, the prayer requests He does or does not answer, is specific to you. Some of the questions you ask may never be answered until you see Him face to face.
God Hurts When We Hurt
While I cannot say why this happened to you and to me, as a fellow survivor, I can say I do not believe God allowed it to happen. I believe sexual abuse is the result of a depraved world full of hurting people who chose to hurt others.
When you and I were sexually abused as children, God saw it and it hurt Him to see us hurt. From the moment of the first inappropriate touch, He set in motion a series of events to lead us toward Him in order to find healing.
I do not have a specific Biblical verse to prove my belief - only my personal experience. In my story, I had people like my mother who protected me from further abuse. My high school friend was the first person who made me comfortable enough to share my story. One of the churches I was a member of was crucial in supporting me as I learned how to love myself. Another church showed me how to love God. My husband showed me true intimacy. My first book was a therapeutic tool for helping others. All of these have been and remain part of how God is guiding me toward healing in Him.
God Does Not Condone Sexual Abuse
God does not condone sexual abuse, no matter the age it occurs. Anyone who told you that - particularly if it was a religious leader - was:
1) grooming you, and
2) unsubmitted and unrepentant to God.
Sexually abusing children has a price that will be paid for now and/or later. A heart that does not walk away from this behavior will find itself answering to God.
In Matthew 18:6, Jesus says anyone who causes a child to stumble should have a millstone (two circular stones used to grind grain) tied around their neck and thrown into the sea.
There is both a metaphorical and literal context to these verses. Jesus talked about seeing believers as children. Anyone who causes a believer to live a broken life or a life away from Him will be punished. In a literal sense, it applies to actual children. Sexually abusing a child can cause them to become an adult with PTSD-like impacts from the abuse. This can cause their life to be fraught with challenges which confuses how they follow Jesus. The person who ruins a child in this way can look forward to the eternal millstone punishment.
Did God Allow it to Happen?
After reading this far, if you believe you still need an exact answer for why God did not intervene in your childhood sexual abuse story, your journey may need to take a different approach. As a Christian, this journey may be about how to begin healing without the answer.
You are in my prayers. As often as I can, I pray for children and survivors worldwide. Without confirmation, I believe God has answered some of these prayers. He already answered the one that involved you finishing this article.
Love, Andrea
